Work Relationships are not all the same, and that's OK.

As leaders, many of us have a specific style in how we would like to interact in the workplace with colleagues, peers, and executives. Some prefer to build relationships with high trust, others just want to get the work done, while others may form a mutually reciprocal association; you take care of me, and I'll take care of you, and then there are those that you would take with you on a rowboat in the middle of the ocean. (I should mention, I am deathly afraid of drowning and am very particular in who is in this very small circle :)

When we expect the same from everyone, it naturally forms friction and misalignment. Business Insider published an article on March 18, 2013, on the 4 Types of Work Relationships: Targeted, Transactional, Tentative, and Trusted. The following is directly from that article.

• Targeted Relationships: These are intentional connections established because one person sees a specific benefit in knowing another. For example, you might "target" a highly knowledgeable expert or a senior leader who can help you secure a promotion or a new job through their network.

  
  

• Transactional Relationships: These are task-focused interactions characterized by a clear "give-and-take" exchange without deep emotional investment. They typically revolve around specific projects where parties complete their respective parts and move on once the business objective is met.

  
  

• Tentative Relationships: These are brief, surface-level interactions where no deep connection has formed yet, such as a momentary greeting at a company event. While currently minor, they serve as potential starting points that could be developed into more valuable professional ties later.

  
  

• Trusted Relationships: These are the most valuable and highly dependable interpersonal bonds. They are personal, long-lasting, and built on high levels of mutual confidence; these often persist even after one or both parties leave the organization

I invite you to think of those with whom you work. What category of relationship do you currently have? What would that relationship provide if it evolved or devolved? Where are you in your career? Whom are you missing? When you viewed the list of people in each category, what surprised you?

When I share this with clients, they have shared that their approach has shifted in how and what they communicate, has alleviated stress from false expectations to 'know' everyone, and simply name the relationship for what it is. Because sometimes it is about getting the work done, and other times our life is better at work because of the true friendship that is formed, and knowing that someone has you if the storm hits, and safety takes you back to shore.